Conflict Resolution

Jim is back for today's episode!  Jim breaks down all of the different aspects of conflict resolution.  He shares his wisdom from years of dealing with different types of negotiation in the workplace and at home.

Audio Only Version:

EP-26 Conflict ResolutionLife Admin
00:00 / 49:49

Show Notes

Set the table: We’ve got another guest. Leslie's husband, Jim, who does conflict resolution for a living

 

Segment 1: Stuff that causes domestic conflict

 

Ryan: 20 years married, what kind of stuff becomes conflict? 

Jim: 

 

  • With Leslie?  Nothing. (Ha ha.)

  • It’s not the big things - crises and disasters will, over time, be the easier things to navigate - interpersonal conflict recedes in the face of the shared problem.

Ryan - what about the small things?

  • It’s the small things you have to work on - over time, repetitive, don’t engage our focus in the way that, say, a flood or pandemic; our guard is down

  • Divide them into some subjects, some behaviors.  

  • Subjects are exactly what you’d predict: Money. Kids. In-laws. Chores.

  • Behaviors - less obvious, require more thought, but not conceptually hard to manage. Key: this is a Partnership.  Doesn’t sound sexy, but it is the cornerstone- applies to everything, even sex, really.  

Leslie - back to the behaviors...

    • Attention - eye contact

    • Listen - 

    • Understand the rough edges - what matters?

    • Call your own fouls

    • Partners share duties - but also authority

    • Parenting - drown baby

  • The most common problem: score keeping. 

 

Segment 2:  The golden question of conflict

 

Ryan: if you could give one bit of insight

 

Jim:

  • What are we in conflict about - we’re adults, so we can call them ‘fights’

  • Why are we in conflict - reality 

  • Prevention - over the horizon

  • Recognize

  • Identify

  • Frame

  • Build towards resolution

  • What’s your goal? 

 

Closing:  Final bits.

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63/ Back To School

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