How to Stay Married

Ryan and Leslie each have learned that the answer is both simple and difficult. And for this subject Ryan had a bunch more to say so we had to do a two-parter. 

Audio Only Version

Ep-6A How to Stay MarriedLife Admin
00:00 / 47:14
Ep-6B How to Stay MarriedLife Admin
00:00 / 39:07

Show Notes & Helpful Links

46/ Party Time

If its being a good host or a good guest, Leslie and Ryan have got you covered.  Let's throw a fantastic party together!

45/ Holiday Planning

In the crazy year that has been 2020, Leslie and Ryan discuss everything it takes to ensure that your holiday plans go off with out a hitch.

43/ Home Maintenance

Home Maintenance is the name of the game today.  This could be considered a financial episode as well as DYI. We talk about the things that fall through the cracks if they aren't maintained — and that costs more money in the long run.  It's filters, appliances, and various other things that can easily be out of sight, out of mind.

44/ Home Improvement

Ryan and Leslie discuss the planning and execution of home improvement projects from the simple projects like new decks to complicated kitchen or bath redos.

Set the table

Staying married. Small topic.

Segment 1: Choose Wisely 

 

Ryan:  When you know you know?  Is that true?

 

Leslie: Not really, especially since we often haven’t really thought about it before. We wait for Cupid to strike.

 

  • Myths to bust here: The One. There is one. If you find The One then you will know and things will be easy.

  • Even with a perfect match, things won’t always be easy

  • And it puts all your focus on how the other makes you feel, what he does for you

  • It’s a set up for failure

  • It’s all a punt to leave things up to fate

  • Works for a Hollywood Rom com, but not IRL

 

Ryan:  What about timing?  Where and when?

 

Leslie: The only timing you can really control is being available and open to the possibility 

 

  • There is some in stages of life, like school. Many options right next to you. Less so when working

  • But you don’t control timing. You only control yourself:

 

Ryan:  Let’s talk about the head space you have to be in to be chosen by a great partner.

 

Leslie: 

 

  • are you working on one day being the spouse you’d want to have? Are you open to a commitment or just playing around?

  • What about planning? For instance, I knew I wanted to stay at home with kids so I was willing to follow his job which was very travel intensive. 

  • Do you have enough of a plan that you can have this conversation?

 

Segment 2: A Trick/Learn Each Others Love Language

 

Ryan: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion) and physical touch:  People have two.  This is how your partner gets filled up.

 

Leslie-

  • That is your answer, and really it is a detail of mine. Worry more about the spouse you are…

 

Ryan:  I would say that you have to get on each others team.  You have to know for a fact that they have your back in all types of situations.  However you have to do the same?  Hard to do-  especially if you think they are wrong.

 

Ryan:  “Traditional” roles vs ‘New Age Roles”. This needs to be understood before you tie the knot

 

Leslie: Yes. Under traditional system the roles were known. Now they have to be discussed. ​

 

Segment 3: Marriage - The Easiest the Thing you’ll spend the rest of your life figuring out.

 

Ryan: So we are coming to the end here.  And there is so much to talk about still.  I think we are going to have to do more podcasts on this.  And I can’t wait. So if you have to give one thing to put into practice toady to have a better marriage what would it be.  

 

For me it is a relentless pursuit.  And you honor the marriage above your spouse person.

 

Leslie: Remembering you are a team together​

 

Ryan:  What was the biggest pitfall that you had in your marriage?  How did you get out of it?

 

Leslie: I was a scorekeeper. I thought love was transactional. You do this for me, then I do this for you

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Copyright 2019 by: Ryan Taillon (site) and Leslie Loftis (content)