Won't You Be My Neighbor

Set the table

Episode is about the stuff Mr. Rogers taught us. 

Well discussed problem of lacking community

Many modern problems start and can be solved here, but it is a long play so ignored and thus it gets worse 

 

 

Segment 1: To know your neighbors, gather.

 

Ryan: Why is this important? Seems silly with social connectivity when families and friends can video call from anywhere in the world. 

Leslie: Actually, you can’t call from anywhere in the world, certainly not privately, and calls aren’t hands. [Island volcano and Harvey stories.].  People cross country can’t loan you bug spray or butter. They can’t can’t your kids off the bus when you are stuck in traffic. Moral support is great but sometimes we need the real thing. 

 

Ryan: So what do we do to connect with out neighbors?

 

Leslie: First step to being a neighbor is to know your neighbors

 

• Old school was longtime residents would greet new ones with a visit and perhaps a basket of goodies. Sometimes happens. So reverse flow. Knock on your new neighbors door, perhaps with a quick question or two. Is there a directory? Or trash days and any tricks? 

• Sit outside. Greet pets. 

• Throw parties.

 

Segment 2: Party 101

 

Ryan: Daunting for people. Why? 

 

Leslie: Time and Pinterest perfection pressure

 

• Time is finite and in world of two full time partners and lack of lifeadmin education, who has the time, much less the money? That it doesn’t have to be expensive, who knows that?

• Throw on the curated perfection presented in social media. If you can only rarely do it, then want to “do it right”.

• Also, birthday party mission creep. They get fancy and are work intensive leaving impression all parties are like that. Frankly, parties for the 3 and under set should be adult gatherings with a few kids, balloons, and cupcakes thrown in.

 

Ryan: So how can it be done?

 

Leslie: KISS it. Keep it simple

 

• Start small and casual. Email or face to face invites. Come and go three hour set. (3-4 hours is about max.)

• One pot meals easy to serve. Or buffet of finger foods. Coffee or cocktails. 

• Tidy before. Bathrooms clean and stocked. But save cleaning for afterwards

• Candles, Christmas lights, perhaps some flowers. Deco is done. 

• Occasionally kid friendly. Occasionally not. 

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Segment 3: Walking around your neighborhood

 

Ryan: Parties great for set neighborhoods, but what if you are choosing one?

Leslie: Look for some walkablity

 

• Not going to get it all, example Houston. But need some aspect of life that is walkable, work errands, school, parks. 

• Exercise incidental to your day. Stress and weight control. 

• Best way to meet people

• Take a standard walk when others might be out. Dog walking hours are perfect times. 

 

Closing thoughts.

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Helpful Links

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• This is from a newish newsletter, Granola, but I loved this issue on working with neighbors and friends. 

• Amenities: The key to a happy community?

• A counterpoint, sort of, anyway. 

• A study on creating community and the advantages of regular contact with neighbors

• A few years ago the NYT declared the house party dead, but people know we still need and want to have people over and that perhaps it is the anxiousness over lots of little details and Pinterest perfection that gets to potential hosts. So now a name change is recommended. It's not "entertaining." It's "having people over."

• If you do not know of Fred Rogers and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, I highly recommend the documentary, Won't You Be My Neighbor, and the movie, It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, with Tom Hanks and Matthew Rhys. Among other things, the shows inspire a neighborly mood. 

• Friendship is a skill, and men's friendships often get neglected which effects marriages and communities. 

• How to Throw a $60 Dinner Party